WASH DAY!

I GOT to wash this morning, my weekly wash, washing at the Samaritan house is like getting a N.B.A. rebound its crazy and trying to dry is even harder. I was ready to fight. I found some clothes to wear while I wash the ones I have on the clothes on my back is all I have. had a good breakfast this morning got into a discussion with a guy about black men, he says there's a conspiracy against black men beginning in the 4Th grade I say its all about how they are raised. its amazing how many black people blame someone else for their plight. the reason I'm in this situation now is because of the CHOICES I MADE, ITS TRUE THE WHITE MAN MIGHT HAVE BROUGHT COCAINE INTO THE BLACK NEIGHBORHOODS BUT HE DIDN'T MAKE ME SMOKE IT! ITS AMAZING THAT I STARTED USING DRUGS EVEN AFTER I SEEN WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE AFTER THEY USE IT! THAT'S UNREAL! people start to smoke cigarettes today knowing that it has and will continue to kill people THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL INSANE! after I took that first drink at the PLAYBOY JAZZ FESTIVAL in June of 04 I was POWERLESS over the next one I couldn't stop! until I had lost my job and everything. I dranked and used for the next 23 months it was the wildest,craziest, most bizarre 23 months of my life I went through about 200,000 dollars during that time, not counting the 60,000 I won in Las Vegas! I went through that even faster. it was a time of crack whores, loads of crack, enough alcohol to kill an elephant and flying back and forth to Vegas. and you know whats weird? in I way I kinda miss it, O.K. I promise to tell the truff, my heart is beating faster right now as I'm typing this. everytime I pass a strawberry (crack whores) I think about using, last night I passed one on my way to an N.A. meeting and she's asked me what was up? I thought about L.A. I GOTTA GO, START SCHOOL TOMORROW HOPEFULLY!